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SUPER MARIO BROS. ROM HACK EXTRAVAGANZA!!!
Super Mario Bros. is no stranger to ROM hacking, since it happens to be one of the most well-loved NES games of time, if not the most played video game ever. Some people simply hacked the game with more challenging level layouts, while some modified the graphics. And some people took the game out to an old utility shed in the woods and sodomized it with a screwdriver handle. If you’re new to ROM hacking, ROM hacking is modifying game data in the video game ROMS, such as changing graphics, level layouts, music, etc. Some do this by actually changing the code around, but now there’s programs that make it easier (most of which can be found at Zophar.net) for those who don’t know computer code. Here I’ll review some of the more interesting Super Mario Bros. ROM hacks I’ve come across, from the amazingly unique, to the truly horrid pieces of shit that make you wonder how many chromosomes the ROM hacker is missing.
SUPER KKK BROS.
I figure I’d start with this one, and offend everybody from the get-go. As you can see, you start this wonderful adventure of intolerance and bigotry with a little skinhead Mario. As soon as you choose your number of "NIGGER H8ERS", and traverse the Aryan-pride-inspired landscape, we can see what the crafty goose-stepping ROM hacker replaced our favorite Goombas with...
...Little black people. Whod’ve figured? But this badly-drawn African isn’t the only race inspired enemy, you’ll come across several derogatory figures, including a black man holding a bucket of -- you guessed it -- KFC chicken. But this isn’t all. Replacing the Mushroom is the ever popular Halloween costume, the KKK robe. Pick it up, and skinhead Mario becomes Grand Wizard Dragon Mario. Or whatever. You’d think a group that tries to instill fear into minorities would come up with less silly sounding titles. Pick up this white cross thing, and you become Super Fire Grand Red Dragon Wizard Mario, who shoots little KKK symbols.
I’m sure you can figure out by now the treatment Bowser got, so I’ll leave you with this image:
SUPER ASCII BROS.
Here's an interesting looking one. As you can see, all the graphics in the game have been modified to look like ASCII text art-style graphics.
I wish I could elaborate more, but there's not much I can say. Here's a link to some more ASCII art fun!
SUPER PIMP BROS.
This one's pretty self-explanatory. Mario is sporting his pimp gear, with the feathered hat, gold medallion, and a joint in his mouth. Mario smashes evil Budweiser cans, and can really be big pimpin' if he grabs Playboy magazine.
Even the foliage and clouds are cheering our brave pimp, with encouraging phrases such as "Go" and "Go Pimp!" written all over them. I'm also curious as to what the "Pimp Squad!!" is. Aside from the occasional joint put in the mouths of enemies, there's a surprisingly low amount of weed references, and quite a few references to domestic beers (Mario can even get his fire power by grabbing a bottle of the ol' sauce), which honestly, is quite a disappointment. But it still maintains the edgy lifestyle of a pimp, shown by this guy popping out of a pipe to give us not one, but two middle fingers.
And it doesn't stop there. at the end of each castle, waiting at the end is every pimp's nemesis... The police! He's got his gat and he's ready to ice a brother! Grab the "Stout" and watch that pig get deep fried!
AUTOBOT BROS.
Finally, two of the most classic of 80's icons, Transformers and Super Mario, together at last! As much as I hate to admit, I never grew up a Transformers fan, I was more of a Ninja Turtles kid, so please bear with my ignorance.
So you play as Bumblebee, who must travel through a world covered with those Transformer face logos, which I could never tell apart. Of course, all the enemies are modeled after different Transformers. Bumblebee starts off as a car, who transforms into a giant robot when you pick up an Autobot emblem.
As you go on through Grimlick's lair, and defeat Grimlick himself in the first level, you find out Bumblebee's true quest - and suddenly this annoying scene became so much cooler.
THE ADVENTURES OF ICE MARIO
This particular ROM hack may not seem different from the original game, in fact, aside from color changes to a few things, it's pretty much the same, but there is one major difference, which you will notice as soon as you pick up your first flower...
...Mario is blue, but that's not the point. Mario's new fireballs are now ice balls. Ice balls the move horizontally.
You heard me, instead of bouncing across the ground, these projectiles shoot across the screen. It's a unique experience, which almost makes this a whole new game. Kudos to Rage Games for adding this awesome variation.
So there you have it, a few of the strangest Super Mario Bros. ROM hacks I've ever seen. If you thought these were strange, think of the ones I don't even know of. if you want more ROM hack reviews, I suggest checking out I-Mockery.com.
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ANGRY ROBOT (c) Jimmy Mnemonic. Part of The Inverted Dungeon. |
