The Last Stand

While we're on the topic of bad retro-inspired movies, let's take a brief moment to discuss The Last Stand. Or, at least, I would if I could have been bothered to pay attention to it for most of it's hour and fourty-five running length. As Ahnold's big comeback movie, You Stand, I Stand, We All Stand for the Last Stand is probably not the movie he should have gone with first.

Or, who knows, if what he wants is to get back to his acting career as if the last twenty or so years never happened, then The Last Stand (Standing Harder) is exactly the movie he should have made. Dealing with a plot about something with a druglord wanting to get to Mexico in a car that drives really fast, FBI agents trying to stop the druglord, and Ahnold as the sheriff of a small town that's the last stop between the U.S. and the Mexican border, that's... well, really that's all I can remember about the movie (and I watched it less than 18 hours ago).

Ahnold, being Ahnold, spends most of the movie wandering around, looking muscular, and delivering bad one-liners. There's violence a-plenty (with surprisingly more gore than I was expecting) and a decent (but not great) body count. Other than that... yeah.

To be honest, I spent most of the time the movie was on reading Cracked and listening with half an ear. Nothing ever thrilled me enough for me to really start paying attention (and that includes the climactic shoot out at the small town).

Skip Please, Sombody Help Me, I Need to Make a Last Stand! unless you have a lot of reading to catch up on.